Long time no see!

It's been quite some time since I last updated. I put this down to going out too much, and of course having a (slightly unexpected) avalanche of work fall on my head. This term is the busiest for me, but I had somehow managed to overlook this. Unlike last semester, I didn't pull my finger out to print myself an essay timetable, the whole ten weeks stuffed onto a single sheet of A4 and the occasional colour-coordinated square telling me the subject matter and deadline. Three weeks ago, I did sit down to arrange one for this current semester and the summer, and then went to print it. It surprised me somewhat when they both came out stuffed into the smallest space on separate sheets of paper, despite the fact that I had asked the printer to print to scale. By what trickery my printer has managed to alter the printing of tables, I will never know, as everything else I send to print comes out perfectly.

In a matter of hours, I am giving a presentation to a seminar group along with two others with whom I have been working. I realised last night when I was cobbling together our slideshow that we really should have spent a bit more time together to make it more cohesive; however, I think the distinct separation of our three chosen topics do relate to each other well, if not directly or explicitly. We were meant to be meeting up together earlier in the evening, but somehow we managed to just convey to each other what we needed to change via the medium of the mobile phone. What a wonderful device it is.

Yesterday, whilst skiving off my studently duties, I bumped into a friend of a friend who studies law. He is quite proud of the fact that he manages to be the most laid-back law student on the campus, and I must admit I am quite envious of him. Because of the way our university arranges its first year modules, he only studies the one subject compared to my three. This means that he only has to do about four essays compared to my twelve, and his lectures and seminars are even more self-directed than my own. Of course, I don't know how he goes about doing his essays. Possibly they only have one question they need to find an answer for, instead of choosing between four different questions as two of my subjects ask me to do.

Despite the enormous amount of writing I have to do for my subjects, it makes me feel a little smug that at the end of the year, I will have gotten into the habit of writing huge amounts in a very short space of time. Of course, I will have only written about two thirds of the amount that I will need to write for my dissertation, but I'm hopeful that as long as I can keep up the habit, I'll be able to work industriously for a few days each month and keep the rest of my time as free as is possible for a third year to do. And yes, despite being a first year, I am constantly looking to the time when my bad habits may spell my downfall.

As long as I pass my degree, I'm aiming to eventually get a PhD (or the equivalent letters) at some point in my future. I've already begun making enquiries, much to the surprise of my tutors. But, like many people who strive to be less like their family members, I suspect I will in fact stay in academia for the rest of my life as long as I can get past this first hurdle. Of course, I still need to pass my first year exams ... But I'm hopeful and confident that it'll all be fine. I'm well used to writing essays in the space of six hours or less; if I can condense this and retain my marks, I feel sure my exams will be fine.

Whether the presentation at 10am will be quite as succesful, I really cannot speculate.

[x-posted to LJ]

Aha. *idiot*

Okay, so Seija, who is awesome, gave me the link to here because I AM A DORK WHO CANNOT REMEMBER THE ADDRESS TO HER OWN JOURNAL.

Moving on from that, though!

I am happy and hard-up, and GOING FUCKING CRAZY over stupid deadlines and my horrendous procrastination and looking forward to going home and enjoying being totally alone in the flat right now -- heck, I might even be the only one home in the entire house!

Anyway, so, quit my job, moved to uni, stayed with Sam, joined the roleplaying society, and life is peachy.

Onwards!

xx

Feeling a little better

Why so serious? says:
tut tut go to bed!
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
I will, just making sure you don't need any more advice. =D
Why so serious? says:
awwww
Why so serious? says:
thank u :D :D :D
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
No worries!
Why so serious? says:
ur gonna make an amazing mum one day
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
Aw, thanks. =) I hope so. ^^
Why so serious? says:
and a really cool aunt
Why so serious? says:
ur gonna be the mum every kid wishes they had i can honestly see tht happeneing
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
=DDD You make me smile so much!
Why so serious? says:
lol i speak the truth
Why so serious? says:
u'll see :P


I miss Abbeer terribly.

Not a happy Kitty

I just want to cry and cry and cry and then go to sleep and wake up and cry some more.

I am goddamned stressed about university, irritated beyond belief by work, and Sam and I keep arguing about bullshit.

I AM SO ANGRY I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDS.

I can't even put this anger to good use because I can't find the adequate language to talk about it. I want to post on TCW, but I am already intimidated by the number of new folk on there (it's not even like, 10) because I'm so out of practice and like, Seija knows like, ALL of them [exaggeration maybe?] and I'm just ARG. And I keep missing her being online, which is equally frustrating because lately she has been my muse (although probably doesn't know this) and is who is keeping my creative flow from drying up again.

And I have NO inspiration WHATSOEVER, despite now having two characters and being an admin (I feel I should be posting as a good example, at least xD), and I can't believe I have changed so much from when I used to waltz into a 200-member strong RP and not give a flying crap whether I knew anyone or not.

THIS IS WHAT RPING WITH PEOPLE YOU KNOW IRL DOES TO YOU.

I miss the EMS board where it all started for me; I made good friends there, some of whom I still talk to on MSN and have been doing so for the best part of a decade. But none of them are into the forum-RPing anymore, which makes me sad and feel like a newbie all over again.

Goddamn, I need to get over myself quickly and just bite the bullet and NOT take it personally if no-one responds to a thread, and NOT have it bother me if people don't like my characters, and NOT wuss out just because I don't know anyone who is currently active.

Jesus, how have I grown up and managed to make friends? Maybe it's because I'm too into the real world now that I can't do it anymore, and maybe it is just because I have this over-riding need to be liked anyway that I can't deal with it when it's just IC. Why am I so other-people dependant when I think it's a bad thing and encourage people not to be?

Meh.

Well, I get the feeling that Sam and I are probably about to break up. We had a massive row last night (it lasted until 5am this morning), and he's not contacted me at all. I've had the chance to cool off now though, so who knows.

To be honest, if we do break up, I will not be as heart-broken as before. I think I will probably be kind of relieved. He's always so entirely emotionally retarded whenever I try and speak to him about stuff, and he'll shoot me down by telling me I can't possibly feel the way I do.

We always argue when he's very drunk and I'm quite sober. He always manages to make me feel like a child, and I hate it. I sometimes think I've just had enough.