Not a happy Kitty

I just want to cry and cry and cry and then go to sleep and wake up and cry some more.

I am goddamned stressed about university, irritated beyond belief by work, and Sam and I keep arguing about bullshit.

I AM SO ANGRY I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDS.

I can't even put this anger to good use because I can't find the adequate language to talk about it. I want to post on TCW, but I am already intimidated by the number of new folk on there (it's not even like, 10) because I'm so out of practice and like, Seija knows like, ALL of them [exaggeration maybe?] and I'm just ARG. And I keep missing her being online, which is equally frustrating because lately she has been my muse (although probably doesn't know this) and is who is keeping my creative flow from drying up again.

And I have NO inspiration WHATSOEVER, despite now having two characters and being an admin (I feel I should be posting as a good example, at least xD), and I can't believe I have changed so much from when I used to waltz into a 200-member strong RP and not give a flying crap whether I knew anyone or not.

THIS IS WHAT RPING WITH PEOPLE YOU KNOW IRL DOES TO YOU.

I miss the EMS board where it all started for me; I made good friends there, some of whom I still talk to on MSN and have been doing so for the best part of a decade. But none of them are into the forum-RPing anymore, which makes me sad and feel like a newbie all over again.

Goddamn, I need to get over myself quickly and just bite the bullet and NOT take it personally if no-one responds to a thread, and NOT have it bother me if people don't like my characters, and NOT wuss out just because I don't know anyone who is currently active.

Jesus, how have I grown up and managed to make friends? Maybe it's because I'm too into the real world now that I can't do it anymore, and maybe it is just because I have this over-riding need to be liked anyway that I can't deal with it when it's just IC. Why am I so other-people dependant when I think it's a bad thing and encourage people not to be?

Customer Encounter of the Day #2

I am pricing up some of our random bathroom accessories with the wonderful pricegun, when a mother and her young-teen children walk past. I smile and tell them good afternoon. She smiles back brightly, and rounds the corner.

Customer: And that's why I'm making you go to university when you're older.

Today sucked.

Ugh, so today has been a hideous day all round, if I'm being honest. I got up late and missed the early train. While I was brushing my teeth, I threw up in the sink -- and missed my late train, too. I ended up getting into my shift half an hour late. u.u;;; Then it rained, no, POURED while I was on the train, and when I got into work the front of the store was like, flooded.

So then it was okay for a while, because we had an eensy-tiny delivery for the department (like, one pallet. xD) which, yes, did take me two hours to put out because I was wasting lots of time by tidying and making the department look nice.

Then there was a call out for for multi-skillers, and I went and used the till for THE FIRST TIME SINCE MY APRIL TRAINING. I was ... Panicky. xD But it was okay, and people came stood with me so I didn't fuck up too bad.

And then as I was coming home I was like, ouch, wtf is that on my butt? And when I got home I had a look and it was like, THE BIGGEST SPOT IN THE WORLD and was taking over my arse cheek. So I had a nap and then got my mum to come get rid of it because it was in the most awkward place EVAR. And then I had a go once she'd like, broken the skin and all this blood came shooting out and went all over my hands and made a real popping noise and everything. It was disgusting. Then I had a bath to rid myself of the disgusting-ness.

So, that was my horrible, disgusting, bodily-fluid filled day. I WANT IT TO BE TOMORROW. D<

(Also, yes, I KNOW I said I would not talk about work in here, but ... Sod it, it needed to be said somewhere other than my LJ).

Customer Encounter of the Day

I'm in my department up a ladder, redoing the towel displays to match the new colours. I am wearing the uniform shirt, my name badge, and a high-vis jacket.

Customer: Excuse me, do you work here?