Feeling a little better

Why so serious? says:
tut tut go to bed!
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
I will, just making sure you don't need any more advice. =D
Why so serious? says:
awwww
Why so serious? says:
thank u :D :D :D
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
No worries!
Why so serious? says:
ur gonna make an amazing mum one day
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
Aw, thanks. =) I hope so. ^^
Why so serious? says:
and a really cool aunt
Why so serious? says:
ur gonna be the mum every kid wishes they had i can honestly see tht happeneing
{®ägÐø||} "I think I'm paranoid; Manipulate it." [Goffy the Chav Slayer] says:
=DDD You make me smile so much!
Why so serious? says:
lol i speak the truth
Why so serious? says:
u'll see :P


I miss Abbeer terribly.

Not a happy Kitty

I just want to cry and cry and cry and then go to sleep and wake up and cry some more.

I am goddamned stressed about university, irritated beyond belief by work, and Sam and I keep arguing about bullshit.

I AM SO ANGRY I CANNOT PUT IT INTO WORDS.

I can't even put this anger to good use because I can't find the adequate language to talk about it. I want to post on TCW, but I am already intimidated by the number of new folk on there (it's not even like, 10) because I'm so out of practice and like, Seija knows like, ALL of them [exaggeration maybe?] and I'm just ARG. And I keep missing her being online, which is equally frustrating because lately she has been my muse (although probably doesn't know this) and is who is keeping my creative flow from drying up again.

And I have NO inspiration WHATSOEVER, despite now having two characters and being an admin (I feel I should be posting as a good example, at least xD), and I can't believe I have changed so much from when I used to waltz into a 200-member strong RP and not give a flying crap whether I knew anyone or not.

THIS IS WHAT RPING WITH PEOPLE YOU KNOW IRL DOES TO YOU.

I miss the EMS board where it all started for me; I made good friends there, some of whom I still talk to on MSN and have been doing so for the best part of a decade. But none of them are into the forum-RPing anymore, which makes me sad and feel like a newbie all over again.

Goddamn, I need to get over myself quickly and just bite the bullet and NOT take it personally if no-one responds to a thread, and NOT have it bother me if people don't like my characters, and NOT wuss out just because I don't know anyone who is currently active.

Jesus, how have I grown up and managed to make friends? Maybe it's because I'm too into the real world now that I can't do it anymore, and maybe it is just because I have this over-riding need to be liked anyway that I can't deal with it when it's just IC. Why am I so other-people dependant when I think it's a bad thing and encourage people not to be?

Meh.

Well, I get the feeling that Sam and I are probably about to break up. We had a massive row last night (it lasted until 5am this morning), and he's not contacted me at all. I've had the chance to cool off now though, so who knows.

To be honest, if we do break up, I will not be as heart-broken as before. I think I will probably be kind of relieved. He's always so entirely emotionally retarded whenever I try and speak to him about stuff, and he'll shoot me down by telling me I can't possibly feel the way I do.

We always argue when he's very drunk and I'm quite sober. He always manages to make me feel like a child, and I hate it. I sometimes think I've just had enough.

Back from V Fest

So, I've spent the weekend doing the following:

• Getting sunburned
• Drinking Carlsberg
• Smoking too much
• Trying not to go to the loo AT ALL
  
• Getting muddy
• Being rained on
• Having piss thrown over me
• Being crushed by wankers
• Being walked on by arseholes
• Sleeping on the ground
• Spending my boyfriend's money
• Seeing many, many bands

So, all in all, it was good. Well, bodily fluids aside, that is.

Muse were fantastic live, as were The Verve. Amy Winehouse was not so much. LostProphets made the audience be full of thirteen year olds who moshed too much and nearly killed Sam. Lenny Kravitz was wonderfully chilled.

I saw others, but I can't think which ones right now. I am far, far too tired.

I love festivals. Just not the people.

Customer Encounter of the Day #2

I am pricing up some of our random bathroom accessories with the wonderful pricegun, when a mother and her young-teen children walk past. I smile and tell them good afternoon. She smiles back brightly, and rounds the corner.

Customer: And that's why I'm making you go to university when you're older.

Pre-Festival Excitement

I AM GOING TO THE V FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND.

For the uneducated, this means spending a weekend in a tent with limited toilets/showers, expensive alcohol, crap food and MANY BANDS.

My boyfriend is here, and we are prepared! Well, kind of. We still need to sleep and print off the directions, but everything will be fine.

Back on Monday. =D

You think I can't kill because I'm beautiful?

So, I was thinking I need to get drawing again. Apparently, Seija has really inspired me because I keep drawing/doodling while I am speaking to her ... Yay! I think it helps having something to be enthusiastic about for once. Being on her forum is like, the ONLY interesting thing that has happened to me in almost a year. And if I just keep sketching like, once a day, I will be back at the standard I was before I stopped -- although I still have to work on my concentration.

I don't care if I don't finish things. Just STARTING it is an improvement for me. I've also decided that to get me back into drawing people, I'm gonna use reference, which I never did unless I was drawing it for like, art class or something and wanted it to look like the person ...

So anyways, I got a quarter way through Corbin, half way through Porcelain and I'm still not sure how I want to draw Leo. xD I figure drawing characters that other people have created will let me get on with the drawing as opposed to needing to think what they look like.

ROO IS OFFICIALLY GODDAMN LAZY

Today sucked.

Ugh, so today has been a hideous day all round, if I'm being honest. I got up late and missed the early train. While I was brushing my teeth, I threw up in the sink -- and missed my late train, too. I ended up getting into my shift half an hour late. u.u;;; Then it rained, no, POURED while I was on the train, and when I got into work the front of the store was like, flooded.

So then it was okay for a while, because we had an eensy-tiny delivery for the department (like, one pallet. xD) which, yes, did take me two hours to put out because I was wasting lots of time by tidying and making the department look nice.

Then there was a call out for for multi-skillers, and I went and used the till for THE FIRST TIME SINCE MY APRIL TRAINING. I was ... Panicky. xD But it was okay, and people came stood with me so I didn't fuck up too bad.

And then as I was coming home I was like, ouch, wtf is that on my butt? And when I got home I had a look and it was like, THE BIGGEST SPOT IN THE WORLD and was taking over my arse cheek. So I had a nap and then got my mum to come get rid of it because it was in the most awkward place EVAR. And then I had a go once she'd like, broken the skin and all this blood came shooting out and went all over my hands and made a real popping noise and everything. It was disgusting. Then I had a bath to rid myself of the disgusting-ness.

So, that was my horrible, disgusting, bodily-fluid filled day. I WANT IT TO BE TOMORROW. D<

(Also, yes, I KNOW I said I would not talk about work in here, but ... Sod it, it needed to be said somewhere other than my LJ).

Customer Encounter of the Day

I'm in my department up a ladder, redoing the towel displays to match the new colours. I am wearing the uniform shirt, my name badge, and a high-vis jacket.

Customer: Excuse me, do you work here?

Blah?

There, I've caved Seija, you can be happy now. xP

I am deciding whether I'm going to x-post to my LJ from here, or whether this should be less anonymous. I think I should just have a place where I can actually mention names. I just won't mention work. THAT can go in my LJ.

Sooo, I need ... Something for this blog to be, other than a place I can Rant! freely. Maybe an art thing, although I don't have a scanner so that idea sucks right off. I was thinking an RP thinger? But ... I wouldn't have anything important to post, just general blah about people. Mebbe just a creativity blog. After all, I'll get near a scanner once I'm in university.

Speaking of university, I FIND OUT IF I'VE GOT INTO THE COLLEGE I WANT ON FRIDAY. I really hope I've got into Furness so much. It has a wine club and everything. ;D But I wouldn't mind the other one so much (I can't even remember what my second choice was) ...

My gran is coming to Dunelm after my shift on Thursday to spend lots of money on me. I will be getting a floor slab, because they are sexy and it'll give me someplace to sit on other than my bed once I'm in halls. I will probably also get things like sheets, a storage box for my box of sin, stationary, some dinky canvasses, a mini sewing machine, a hand sewing kit, material for patching my jeans, clothes hangers, pots n' pans, crockery, nice knives, a chopping board ... And the list can (and will) go on.

So, that's enough for now. I am unlikely to update really at all. But I'll try, for Seija. xP